Empty Nest

I had been mentally formulating this post for a bit, realizing that I am suffering (is that the correct word?) a bit of Empty Nest.

When I clicked on my browser, previous visited sites came up...and in a spurt of impulse, I decided to check out Kathy's blog (she's the mama to my beautiful new daughter).

I periodically visit her site to keep up on the news of what's going on - the other day she was blogging about making things for the new grandbaby we're all expecting...well, Josh and Emma aren't expecting a grandbaby, but you get the idea.

So, frankly, there was some hesitation in my click - she's there and I'm not.  Some days its not too bad, but the last week or so has been rough.  I don't know if its because I've been home more lately or what.

While I glorify God for my son and new daughter's marriage and budding family, I'm sort of at a loss as to where I fit in.  I've at least gotten past the 'do I fit in?' portion of the questions rattling around in my head.

I'm reminding myself it's an adjustment for everyone, we're all in this together learning how to relate to new people, family members, responsibilities (or in my case, lack thereof!).

I wanted to see what else was out there about empty nests - quite a bit of secular advice about how to relate to your spouse after the children are grown and gone.  The words Kathy used 'empty chair' were echoing in my mind when I found this link for the Les Miserables song: Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - heh, thought I, I REALLY understand that...until I read the whole song.

I thought about modifying it thus:

There's a grief that can't be spoken.

There's a pain goes on and on.

Empty chairs at empty tables

Now that my children are grown and gone.

But as I pondered upon, 'there's a pain that goes on and on.' In reality it doesn't, even if F-E-E-L-S like it right now or when I'm having a down, no body loves me, please pass the violin so I can have a pity party, type of day.

Because I know...I absolutely know, with a hundred percent certainty that NOTHING is allowed in my life except what will bring glory and honor to the Lord.  Everything He allows is to remove dross (ouch, hey Lord, could you please turn DOWN the heat) from my life.

To expose my selfish, self-centered, what about me attitude.  Everything.  I found a few sites I'll list at the end, but especially found this encouraging:

"The book of Ecclesiastes reminds us that life has its fullness and its emptying out. (Ecc. 3:1-8). At significant life transitions, it is important to spend time in the silences and empty spaces to prayerfully consider what God wants to fill that empty space."

Silence.  Which echos the song our ladies study is memorizing (I am woefully behind), Be Still My Soul.  When no more little people are running through the house, no more messes (except the ones I make - who knew I could be so messy!) - no more cuddle time reading books, or breaking up battles.  This season has indeed ended.

There is a purpose of everything, even the quiet.

Psa_46:10  Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. 

And while looking for 'be still' I found this:

Mar_4:39  And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. 

He can calm the 'wind and waves' of my sorrow, I need but bow the knee and give it all to Him.

The question now remains, what now Lord?  To finish the quote above:

"In Christ we have the model and example of living a life of service and humility: “Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. An in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross” (Phil. 1: 5-8). This passage describes “kenosis”, the Greek word meaning “self-emptying” which illustrates God’s self-limiting of his divine nature to give genuine freedom to his creatures. As Christians, it is important to hear and heed God’s call upon our life above that of our children, our spouse, and our own desires. We are stewards of our time and talents in every phase of life."

We are stewards - every second of every day is a talent given to me by my Lord, my Master to be used how?  Buried in the ground?  I think not.

The Lord has blessed me with godly counsel and encouragement from the ladies at our church (the older women to the younger), as well as the exhortations Kathy received on her post.  It helps to know that while we struggle, we are not alone.

Yes the Lord is our rock and refuge, always, but it is a blessing to have the Bride of Christ come alongside and give a hug, a prayer, a word of encouragement.

Quote above taken from How To Prepare For An Empty Nest.

No post would be complete without something with Wiki in it - WikiHow's article on How to Recover From Empty Nest Syndrome.

10 Ways to Refill the Empty Nest by Rebecca Barlow Jordan