Where is she?

As I was preparing the blog post on Who can find, I began thinking about where does a man find a wife?

Some reflections from Scripture:

Eliezer (seeking a wife for Isaac):

Gen 24:11 And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.

Gen 24:12 And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.

Gen 24:13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:

Gen 24:14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.

Noted - I'm assuming this was Rebekah's customary task to daily fetch water. I was trying to query the significance of wells and the women who were met at them. Another rabbit trail...though I don't agree with this article, a couple of items captured my attention. one of which was giving Rebekah a choice in accepting the marriage proposal.

Jacob:

Gen 29:9 And while he yet spake with them, Rachel came with her father's sheep: for she kept them.

Gen 29:10 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother's brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother's brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well's mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother's brother.

Moses:

Exo 2:15 Now when Pharaoh heard this thing, he sought to slay Moses. But Moses fled from the face of Pharaoh, and dwelt in the land of Midian: and he sat down by a well.

Exo 2:16 Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew water, and filled the troughs to water their father's flock.

Exo 2:17 And the shepherds came and drove them away: but Moses stood up and helped them, and watered their flock.

Exo 2:18 And when they came to Reuel their father, he said, How is it that ye are come so soon to day?

Exo 2:19 And they said, An Egyptian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds, and also drew water enough for us, and watered the flock.

Boaz:

Then we have the story of Ruth - who went out to glean grain for her mother-in-law and herself, and received much more.  Read Ruth.  :-)

In these few examples I've reflected upon, the women were going about their daily chores and/or responsibilities.  Daily fetching water from wells, interacting on a regular basis within the community, seeing and being seen.

A close knit community and focus on providing marriage partners would have been a priority.  Our culture has lost the focus and beauty of marriage and working to ensure preparation and opportunity for marrying and finding suitable mates.

So where are are wells of today?  (I thought this overview of wells was interesting.)

Family Gatherings - weddings and funerals (is that morbid?), reunions (do people still have these?).

Church Gatherings - and I'm not referring to the youth groups - I am frankly wholly opposed to fragmenting people based upon age, gender or marital status.  I'm not quite sure what a church social is, but would think any activity hosted by a group of believers which allows for interactions and inspection qualifies.

Community Service - not for the sake of meeting people, but if you have a passion, talent or interest in a particular area, this provides a chance to be out and about in the community.

What if you're limited on family and/or church gatherings?  Not able, or interested, in community service?  Could the internet be a well?

I know several who met their future mates online.  Family and church gatherings would be more localized wells, while the internet provides an international flavor.

Is this avenue for everyone?  No.  Does it require safe  and solid boundaries?  Yes.  Good accountability and oversight?  Yes.  If you choose to be seen in the community of internet wells it is imperative to thoroughly vet any potential suitors.

Here are a few sites I have either used or perused:

Sovereign Grace Singles - I like this one for the fellowship.  There is definitely a feel of community here.  One is able to interact in group settings and or forum discussions. Free membership - full access.  Theologically reformed.

Reformed Singles - I liked this one because you must have a pastoral referral.  The drawback was no open chat rooms or forums (this may have changed).  Annual fee less than $40.00 (or so).  Theologically reformed.

Marry Well - I've not used this site; however I appreciate the overall focus is in finding a mate - not just dating.  I had thought it required pastoral approval, but may mistaken.  Free for basic membership, reasonable cost for premium.  Theological focus, unsure.

Ultimately for those who are single and prayerfully desiring marriage, it is trusting God, knowing He will bring either contentment in singleness or a mate.  It is imperative (I believe) that there be a good foundation of prayer intercessors, as well as those who are willing to help and/or facilitate opportunities for well encounters.

Lord, comfort those who may be single and seeking, guide and direct them, raise up others to pray and intercede.  Help each of us as Your children to find contentment in whatever situation or circumstance You've provided.