It is better...

...than what?

I was intrigued by two passages in Proverbs today which say about the same thing.

Pro 21:9  It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. 

Pro 21:19  It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. 

Which made me think, what other passages have it is better?

The first usage is in Genesis when Laban says it is better to give Rachael to Jacob versus another man.

In 2 Samuel the people state to David it is better for him not to engage in battle.

Psalm 118:8 and 9 both state it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man or princes.

Proverbs 3:14 finishes up the thought that it is better to get wisdom than silver or fine gold.

Proverbs 25:24 It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.

Ecclesiates states it is better to go into the house of mourning versus one of feasting and to hear the rebuke of the wise versus the song of fools.

Jonah says it is better him to die than to live.

In the New Testament it is better is recorded:

To enter into eternal life minus a hand, foot, eye.

To have a millstone hung about the neck versus offending a little one.

And the last two passages:

1Co 7:9  But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1Pe 3:17  For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing. 

So what is a woman who is:

brawling - H4079 - A variation for H4066.  (Used 9 times in 9 verses - all in Proverbs).

• H4066 - From H1777; a contest or quarrel.
• H1777 - A primitive root (compare H113); to rule; by implication to judge (as umpire); also to strive (as at law).

Which picks up a few more verses about women/wife:

Pro 19:13  A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. 

Pro 27:15  A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. 

contentious - H4079.

angry - H3708 - From H3707; vexation. (Used 25 times in 25 verses and translated as provoking, wrath, sore, grief, provocation, indignation, sorrow, spite, anger.)

• H3707 - A primitive root; to trouble; by implication to grieve, rage, be indignant.

This passage seems similar to me as the one in 1 Peter 3:17 quoted above:

Ecc 7:3  Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.

Makes me think:  Sorrow and suffering - a man of sorrow's, acquainted with our grief.

As I mull over the definitions above, I see myself - brawling, contentious, angry.  Why?  Even as a saved woman?  Is it as the poisonous mind set of my sin nature are worked out of the marrow of my being by the grace of God?

I sense many women struggle with the same issues. While the sin nature we're born with is directly responsible for our attitudes, I think feminism has magnified it.  Women can't simply be women in today's society.

I remember once watching from my window, either an insect or bird, simply being itself.  It didn't have to act or pretend to be the other gender from what it was, it didn't have to act like any other insect or bird. It simply had to do and be as God created it.  No conflict with its design and purpose.  I remember feeling jealous of the peacefulness it had.  Is that why many women are brawling, contentious and angry?  Living in contrast to their original design and purpose?

Father, help Your daughters to live in harmony with Your design.  Lord You have made us for Your pleasure, You allow or don't allow situations and circumstances in our lives to mold us more and more into Your image.  Nothing which happens in our lives is by chance, even when we are forced to live in conflict with Your design for woman.  Give us strength and grace, mercy and wisdom to be vessels of honor as we walk this temporary abode.