Num 30:2 If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.
Num 30:3 If a woman also vow a vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father's house in her youth;
Num 30:4 And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand.
Num 30:5 But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the LORD shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.
Num 30:6 And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;
Num 30:7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.
Num 30:8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the LORD shall forgive her.
Num 30:9 But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.
Num 30:10 And if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;
Num 30:11 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.
Num 30:12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.
Num 30:13 Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.
Num 30:14 But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them.
Num 30:15 But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity.
Num 30:16 These are the statutes, which the LORD commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father's house.
So...here I am 15 years later - no husband, no potential prospects in view, wondering. Hmmm...did God consider that a vow, and if so, do I fit into the category above, even if I wasn't divorced at that particular moment.
Or is my continued single state solely due to God's plan of having me remain single until He calls me home? Am I not being content enough? Has He really 'prepared' me for marriage? Am I marriageable material?
Of a truth it is difficult when you think you 'want' something, pray about it, seek counsel, ask for prayer, try to be at the well and find no one needs, or wants a drink, at least from you. Wondering, ever wondering, did I consign myself to this fate by what I said?
I thought this post would be more difficult to write...admitting well, maybe I am where I am because of what I said. Yet, I find, release, if I have vowed to God and He is making me honor it, then so be it. He will give me grace, strength and wisdom to endure. Perhaps endure isn't the proper word, no I know it's not.
Whatever the Lord has decided is best for my life isn't to be endured, it is to thank the Giver of Life for His gracious provision, even if and when it doesn't quite 'match' the picture or hopes I may hold in my heart and mind. May His peace be with you for whatever you are 'enduring' and may we each find joy in His provision.
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