Crash and Burn

This morning:  The thought which ran through my mind, "Lord, I 'feel' like I am crashing and burning in my relationship with you.  I 'feel' like I've lost my first love."

I had received a new issue of Leben magazine and while reading the article on Robinson Crusoe, (with a look at the author Daniel Defoe) came across this:

"In time, a pattern of spiritual progress or decline thought to be common to all Christians became the template (talking about autobiographies). That template organized a man's spiritual life along these lines:

1. The work of God's providence in the man's life before he came to Christ.

2. The steps by which God's providence prepared the man for conversion.

3. The time and manner of the man's conversion and the things that immediately followed.

4. The predictable, but sad and long spiritual decline that would follow.

5. The man's recovery from that decline and the renewal of his commitment to Christ.

6. An account of some of the things that followed in the next few years.

7. A description of the man's current spiritual condition with accompanying observations and thanksgivings."

Where am I on that scale?  Number 4 'jumped' out at me.  The really sad thing?  I've been here before.  Is this process circular?  I feel dry, parched, distant.  I know God didn't move.  He's right where He's always been.  Its me...what's wrong with me?  Why do I have these ebbs and flows in my relationship with Him?

I do not believe in coincidence, rather divine appointments.  This video came up in my inbox:

This is War, Paul Washer

What's he saying right out the gate?  One great love, to love the Lord our God with all our spirit, soul, strength and mind.

Mar_12:30  And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. 

Next exhortation - one great passion and he quotes:

Mat 6:33  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

While he is evidently speaking to men, these admonitions are applicable to all, regardless of gender, age, marital status, etc.

How often do I keep these words before me?  Really meditate upon them?  Do them?

Separation from that which displeases God - do I even inquire as to what will please and glorify Him?

Next?  A great commission - Go Tell.  Fight for the faith.  How equipped am I?  If I were in a battle (and we all are, all the time) what would I have to defend/offend?  I'm feeling pretty bare in the weapons department right now.  Where is my passion for knowing Him, for reading His word, for studying Him?  O' Lord, renew me, give me a passion for You, Your Word, Your righteousness.  Cleanse me, wash me fresh, renew a right spirit within me.

Help me Lord to love You, to desire You, to thirst after You.  Let this be my cry:

Psa_42:1  As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.