I'm focusing on Question #3 in the book - renew your mind (your thinking) by the Word of God. Read the following passages aloud. What do these verses reveal about God's perspective on marriage in general and a wife's role in particular.
Heh...I just noticed it said read ALOUD.
Mark 10:6-9 - But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
God's perspective? He made them male and female, not male to male, nor female to female. They weren't confused about their gender. They are to set up house as a new unit, belonging solely to one another. I find it interesting that the man is told to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife; yet a woman isn't told to the same. I wonder if this falls into that same category of a woman needing exhortation on respecting her husband and he needing to be reminded to love her.
The number two means division - while one means unity - a man and a woman (husband and wife) becoming one flesh represents unity - just as the Father and the Son are one.
God joining a man and a woman, so can a man and woman be joined outside of God? Hmmm. Regardless of how they came to be man and wife, God's intent is that they remain together. Though that makes me think of how when Israel came back into the land from captivity, the men were told to put away their strange wives and children (Ezra 10). How does that balance out? Put away, yet don't put away?
Proverbs 31:10-12 - Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
A woman of great value - trustworthy, dependable, faithful. A woman should seek to be such a woman, and a man to find such a gem.
Ephesians 5:23-24 - For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:32-33 - This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Submission - to a man *sigh* - but in reality its to the Lord, regardless if one sought the guidance of the Lord (parents, accountability partners, pastors, friends, etc.) as a woman who is in Christ our responsibility (whether married or not) is to T-R-U-S-T the Lord. This is incredibly hard! I've had both 'sides' of the coin. Married, yet needing to trust in the Lord, waiting upon Him and His guidance and wisdom in and through a very difficult marriage.
Waiting upon HIM, crying to Him at times, pleading with Him, resting in Him regarding being single. I waver back and forth, wanting to be married and then thinking no, its not His will. I've spoken unadvisedly with my lips vowing never to remarry (when my husband first left). Have I vowed a vow that He heard and is holding me to? Should I pray for a husband? I know I am supposed to be content in whatever state I am, regardless of what His future plans may be, but it is at times extremely difficult! It still is trusting in Him - whether its yes, wait or no. Trusting Him to help me be content - that same level of trust in and of the Lord for a married woman with her husband. It all truly comes back to trusting Him.
A husband is to love his wife - sacrificially, just as Christ sacrificially gave himself for His bride. Will a man do it perfectly? If he's not trying at all, what does a woman do? Trust, pray, seek His counsel and guidance, if necessary outside counsel (depending upon the situation and circumstance).
A woman is to reverence - R-E-S-P-E-C-T - her man - this isn't easy! Does this give the man a 'free pass' to not love her? No. If the man isn't loving, does this give the woman a 'free pass' to not respect her husband? No. It is a trust and obey issue for both - and forgiveness when they fall or fail to live up to God's standards or human expectations.
1 Peter 3:1-6 - Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
I have to be honest - the whole Sara thing, it baffles my brain. I mean really? Twice Abraham gives, or allows Sara to be 'wed' or 'betrothed' to another man, all the while married to him!
Really? I'm sorry, but I don't think I could go that route. Now to put it in perspective, Sara really had no choice - a woman is owned by her husband (this one baffles me as well, and how, or if, it has a sustainable position today). She had no money, nothing of 'hers' - if you will. She has to go. Yet she didn't make a scene, didn't say a word, didn't slip a note to the king - 'psst, hey, I'm really already married to Abraham.'
She waited patiently - and maybe that's the whole point, not what she had to wait patiently on - each woman's situation will be different, but she must wait upon the Lord. Trusting him. Yet, when it came to trust, Sara tried to 'help' God by giving Hagar (her Egyptian maid) to Abraham as a surrogate mother. What a mess her 'solution' made!
What are we called to 'wait upon the Lord' for and are trying to 'help' God out? Manipulating or being devious in trying to orchestrate situations and/or circumstances to have it 'turn out right?' Oh, ladies, let's be honest, when we get a bee in our bonnets, we will 'work' it from every angle. Not always, but we sure do run a host of plans through the mental mill. Wait, I say, wait upon the Lord and He will give HIS answer in due season.
Isa_40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Psa_37:9 For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth.
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