Not too long ago, my husband and I were on a date at a local restaurant in our town. I was looking over the menu when I noticed a man and woman, both in their 50′s, about to sit in the booth next to us. They sat down next to each other on the same side of the booth. The woman looked cute and classy, but the one thing I noticed about her (after I saw that she was married) was the way she turned her body to where she could really look into her husbands eyes and listened intently to every word he said. This went on the whole time they were together. It impressed me so much to see how she was completely paying attention to him and would put her hand on his every now and then. I loved that! Here they were, a bit of an older couple, still in love, and she was still showing him respect by truly listening to him and looking into his eyes.
After being married for 22 years, I become more and more aware of how much my husband really needs me to respect him.
God does tell us a bit about respect in Ephesians 5:33:
However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I know that, in some marriages, it may be challenging if we do not feel truly loved by our husbands. Pray for him. Pray for your marriage, for the love to return, and then do your best to respect your man. Ask God to help you to talk sweetly to him and to encourage him. Our husbands needs to us believe in them and their dreams. They need us to be their cheerleaders; they need to feel that we think they are the smartest men on the face of the earth. In our home, we call it “Feeling their muscles.” It means that we praise the guys in our home (our sons need respect too). It’s not fake; it’s real. There is always something good to praise someone for. If you truly can’t think of anything good to say about your husband, ask God to help you to see his heart and to praise him. So often, people will rise to our expectations of them. Does your man go to work every day? Does he come home every night? Does he pay the bills? Does he spend time with the kids? I always tell my husband “thank you” for taking our family to church every Sunday. I know that there are a lot of men that would rather watch football or sleep in, but my man takes us to church.
Ask God to help you to believe in your man and his dreams.
My husband recently became interested in getting a hot rod. (specifically, a 68 Firebird) At first, I was not really interested and didn’t participate in the whole searching process. Then one day my daughter, Christie, said to me “Mom, You need to show some interest and encourage him. This is very important to him, and he would love it if you showed interest in it, even if only for his sake. He works hard to earn his money, and isn’t going to be spending a lot of money on this car.” Out of the mouths of babes.
So, I took her advice. I started being more engaged when he would talk about the cars, and I even spent a couple of Saturdays to drive an hour away to go kick some tires with him and look at the prospects that he had found. Randy was SO happy and excited to have me go with him, but for me, it meant going for rides in the cars with NO seatbelts, all the time shaking and vibrating in the backseat from the sheer power of the vehicle. We had a blast! He got a bright red one and has promised to install seatbelts right away.
The moral of the story is that he needed me to be interested in him and his dreams.
Another thing that I have noticed is that our men need us to affirm them in front of other people. Don’t bash your man in front of others or behind his back. It’s no fun to be put down or made fun of. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Ask God to help you to be the “Wise woman that builds her house and not the foolish woman that tears it down with her own hands.”
Accept your husband and your puzzle. Our men ned us to appreciate them and to bring life to our homes. That’s what we do as women–we bring life. Ask God to help you to love your husband, respect him, and be content with who he is and your life together.
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