Who Am I?

I've been pondering upon this question for a bit.  Obviously the first answer should be I'm a Christian.

Secondary answers could be: daughter, wife, mother.  It's the mother designation I'm currently focused upon.

As a mother, we tend to have the world revolve around us...everything that goes on in our homes we control (to a certain degree).

We manage, we care, we give, we birth, buy, feed, clean, raise, nurse, chauffeur, counsel, guide, direct and most importantly pray for our families.  Our whole beings become consumed with being a mom.

So what happens when you're no longer a mom?  For many years I designated myself as a single mom.  I'm still have the title, MOM; however the responsibilities, the day to day consumption of my time, effort, talents and abilities are no longer needed, or rather are drastically changed!

I've been put out to pasture!  I've 'seeing' motherhood, as a cog in the machinery of life.  It begins with the first wee one...

...growing inside you.  A part of you, hearing your heart from the inside.  Then, there they are in your arms, so small, a 'canvas' waiting to be 'painted' or a 'lump of clay' waiting to be 'molded'.

There whole world revolves around you...you are the center of their universe.  Then comes the stage where they realize they are their own little person.  They become part of the 'machinery' of life.  Still needing you to help them 'turn', yet truly their own little wheel.

They grow, mature, leave the nest, forming their own 'machine' - a family.

Their lives, with their spouse and children develop and grow.  Your wheel grows further from the center.  You realize you no longer are the center.  You are now one of those outlaying wheels which may still be 'turned' by the 'center' may (or may not) have any real function.

So who (or where) are you in this thing we call life?  Are you currently at the 'hub' - the queen bee?  Running a thriving hive?  :-)

Currently part of a family - but not the center, yet?

Still in the center - not quite out of usefulness (or least borrowing of the laundry facilities)?

Or out to pasture?  Every once in a while you get a 'turn' as the lives of your children revolve?

If so, what do you do?  Who are you?  Who am I?  Is there value in a woman only when she's at the hub of life?  Running a home, managing children?  If you're married and empty nested, are you rediscovering love with your husband?

If you've been a single mom - how do you present yourself now?  Who are we once the children have grown and no longer 'need' (or sometimes want) us?

If you have more than one child, the possibilities are endless for where you are.

If you've returning children and grandchildren, your life once again 'revolves' around them and their needs.  If you're married, your husband.  If alone, and you've invested all of 'you' into your family, you begin to discover yourself.

You find a hobby, a ministry, an outlet...something which makes you 'feel' valued.  God designed us to be 'givers' and 'nurturers'.  Always holding those we love close in our hearts.

I can't say if it's easier or harder for those who have a husband, or elderly family members to care for...something that 'makes' you 'feel' needed and/or useful.  As trying or tiring as it may be at times!

As a single woman - for such is my designation now, it's vastly different.  I may be 'needed' at my job, but I'm not indispensable.  As I reflect and pray about this new season, I ask myself lots of questions.

Am or have I noticed or cared for how others in my position feel or felt?

What is my purpose?  (I know the 'correct' answer is to love God and serve Him); however, HOW does it 'work' now?

I think women like to 'pour' ourselves into people, a husband, children, etc., so when you don't, or feel like you don't, have anyone, what do you do?

Prayer...seeking Him is the obvious answer.  I'm still searching, on a new road to discovery. How about you?

The death of facebook...

...okay, maybe death is a little too, uhhm, strong a word?  I had a Facebook account - I deactivated it in February.  It was a relief.

I can 'see' the positive aspects of it - truly I can - it helps facilitate a wider distribution for news.  However, it lacks, personality.  Does that sound odd?  Its FULL of personalities now isn't it?

Almost any type or sort you'd care (or not) to see or witness.  Really though?  Does it really help people 'connect' or just give a shadows and mirror impression?

Have we become so connected that we can't carry on full length conversations or think about something that requires more than a minute of consideration?

I came across a couple of articles about the social media frenzied multi-million dollar making entity and thought, 'yes, that sounds like some of what I experienced.'

"A small new study shows that Facebook use seems to predict declines in happiness. In other words, the more you use the pervasive social media tool, the more your life satisfaction drops."

"Social interaction was the second most common cause of envy as users could compare how many birthday greetings they received to those of their Facebook friends and how many "likes" or comments were made on photos and postings."

Nobody noticed or liked my post! It really was beginning to 'feed' the narcissistic 'me' monster. I was spending far too much time trying to 'connect' when in reality what I truly need was some, how did they abbreviate that...IRL - in real life? time.

We need real people interactions, yes the electronic explosion of connectivity can be an asset, but is it, in reality more of a detriment to our relationships? Are we really relating if we send text messages that are less than 160 characters which uses shorthand not even a telegraph operator would understand?

Are we using the electronic gadgets to escape? Escape from responsibilities, hurts, loneliness?

How much time are we spending looking at a screen (as I sit here typing this post - staring at a screen!) versus looking at someone, nature, a book. Challenging our minds? Cultivating inquisitiveness and critical thinking? Investing, really investing of ourselves in the life or lives of someone else. Truly taking time to listen and be involved?

We will give an account for our time - and I fall woefully short - will we be found to have used the Master's 'talents' in such a manner as to hear, well done thou good and faithful servant?

Referenced articles:

Facebook Use Predicts Decreases In Life Satisfaction

Facebook Study Says Envy Is Rampant On The Social Network