Ridiculous?

Ridiculous

I heard a parent tell a young child (somewhere between 5-7) years old, “you’re being ridiculous” – the word grated upon my ear.

How do you say something like that to a child?  Did I ever say things like that to my children – probably so, O Lord forgive me.  Have I said, or even thought it, about someone?  O Lord forgive me.

What was the child doing which caused such censure?

First define the word, maybe, just maybe it doesn’t mean what I think…

ri-dic-u-lous – an adjective – deserving or inviting derision or mockery, absurd.

So, what was the child doing to deserve, or worse inviting, derision or mockery.

The parent wanted to take a picture in them in their rain boots, the child didn’t want to comply.  Disobedience?

Maybe, but I’m guessing the reason for the picture was meant to be posted on social media – for the purpose of?

Look at me

Look at my children

Acknowledge me

Affirm me

RELEASE THE DOPAMINE!

Which of course meant I had to research how accurate my ‘perception’ of social media seeking thrills.

Dopamine, Smartphones & You: A Battle For Your Time

Ouch – I’m not on social media, in fact, I’d withdrawn from even posting on this blog because I didn’t want to do it for the ‘oh look at me’ or ‘affirm me’ or ‘oh  look how many views I’ve had’ (guilty as charged).

However, as I read the article, I realized I’m still guilty!  Grief!  My phone has become an extension of my hand!  I spend W-A-Y too much time looking at my phone!

Here are just a few highlights – but really read the article (even on your smartphone!) or research it further and pray about it, pray for your loved ones, pray for me!

…adults in the US spend an average of 2-4 hours per day tapping, typing, and swiping on their devices.

…the social structures in which we thrive tend to contain about 150 individuals. This number is orders of magnitude smaller than the 2 billion potential connections we carry around in our pockets today.

Although not as intense as hit of cocaine, positive social stimuli will similarly result in a release of dopamine, reinforcing whatever behavior preceded it.

This neurological feature is something casino owners have used to their advantage for years. 

Other examples highlight a more deliberate effort to monopolize your time.

Smartphones and social media apps aren’t going anywhere anytime soon, so it is up to us as the users to decide how much of our time we want to dedicate to them.

So the next time you pick up your phone to check Facebook, you might ask yourself, “Is this really worth my time?”

Lord, help us to see ourselves as You see us, to remember we are slaves, Your servants.  Help us to use the resources You give in a way which brings You honor and glory.  Help us to be good stewards of the time You’ve allowed us on this side of glory.

Social or Anti-Social?

I didn't hop on the social media bandwagon when it first came out, and finally took the plunge sometime in 2009 or 2010 with Facebook.  Never was into the Twitter thing (still don't quite 'get' it - like people want to know what you ate for breakfast?).  Went cold turkey February 2012.  F-R-E-E-D-O-M!!

Wasn't on FB long before I realized, this isn't really about 'connecting' with people.  Not really connecting.  It 'appears' as if you are.  Gives the impression you're 'sharing' with folks.

What?  Didn't you see (fill in the blank)? My perception is it feeds the narcissism we're all born with.  Saw this video and it sums up what I've been thinking and feeling about today's methods of 'communicating.'

Communication

Studies show that only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language.” Therefore it is practically impossible to be truly communicating with others because the face-to-face social aspect is missing. The article continues on about this notion, stating “with 93% of our communication context stripped away, we are now attempting to forge relationships and make decisions based on phrases.  (From this article.)

While there are positives, there are negatives, and they seem to be increasing as usage swells.

Addiction?

Analyzing responses in a series of experiments, researchers concluded that disclosing information about oneself engages the same area of the brain associated with pleasure. These pleasures centers, which are stimulated comparably when engaged in activities such as eating, sexual intercourse or receiving money, were more stimulated when speaking about the details of one’s life, especially if those details being shared with friends. Pleasure decreased notably when participants were told the information would be kept a secret from friends or family. (From this article.)

Attention Deficit Disorder

Prolonged social network activity can cause deterioration of attention concentration and other symptoms of ADHD.

While communicating using social networks, people constantly switch from one task to another: read the comments, check the updates, turn on some video, while replying to a message, and write a short comment.

During such activity, people’s attention dwells on one thing not very long and constantly switches to another one.

It also forms a certain habit of learning information. You get used to receive information in small portions, constantly switching from one type of information to another, for example, from replying to a comment to some video viewing. This habit creates difficulties in attention concentration. It is more difficult to hold your attention on one thing for long.  (From this article.)

So turn off the computer, put the smart phone down (or turn it off), disengage from the Ipad or Tablet and really look at the people around you.  Look up!

For other articles on the positives and negatives of social media:

The Negative Effects of Social Media on Society and Individuals

How Social Media Has Changed Us: The Good and The Bad

Is Social Media Making us Anti-Social

Why I Quit Facebook

So you really are a 'friend' - pick up the phone, send a card, text, email (I'm not totally against electronic communication!).  Spend time, REAL time, with those you claim to love.

The death of facebook...

...okay, maybe death is a little too, uhhm, strong a word?  I had a Facebook account - I deactivated it in February.  It was a relief.

I can 'see' the positive aspects of it - truly I can - it helps facilitate a wider distribution for news.  However, it lacks, personality.  Does that sound odd?  Its FULL of personalities now isn't it?

Almost any type or sort you'd care (or not) to see or witness.  Really though?  Does it really help people 'connect' or just give a shadows and mirror impression?

Have we become so connected that we can't carry on full length conversations or think about something that requires more than a minute of consideration?

I came across a couple of articles about the social media frenzied multi-million dollar making entity and thought, 'yes, that sounds like some of what I experienced.'

"A small new study shows that Facebook use seems to predict declines in happiness. In other words, the more you use the pervasive social media tool, the more your life satisfaction drops."

"Social interaction was the second most common cause of envy as users could compare how many birthday greetings they received to those of their Facebook friends and how many "likes" or comments were made on photos and postings."

Nobody noticed or liked my post! It really was beginning to 'feed' the narcissistic 'me' monster. I was spending far too much time trying to 'connect' when in reality what I truly need was some, how did they abbreviate that...IRL - in real life? time.

We need real people interactions, yes the electronic explosion of connectivity can be an asset, but is it, in reality more of a detriment to our relationships? Are we really relating if we send text messages that are less than 160 characters which uses shorthand not even a telegraph operator would understand?

Are we using the electronic gadgets to escape? Escape from responsibilities, hurts, loneliness?

How much time are we spending looking at a screen (as I sit here typing this post - staring at a screen!) versus looking at someone, nature, a book. Challenging our minds? Cultivating inquisitiveness and critical thinking? Investing, really investing of ourselves in the life or lives of someone else. Truly taking time to listen and be involved?

We will give an account for our time - and I fall woefully short - will we be found to have used the Master's 'talents' in such a manner as to hear, well done thou good and faithful servant?

Referenced articles:

Facebook Use Predicts Decreases In Life Satisfaction

Facebook Study Says Envy Is Rampant On The Social Network